He was my best friend at school for a good 7 years. We drifted apart when we went to different universities, and last Sunday he committed suicide.

It's a strange feeling to be honest. It isn't the all out misery that it was when my Dad died last year, its more a feeling of shock and guilt. I realise the guilt is misplaced, I hadn't seen him for some time and he had plenty of other friends, but its still there. What if I had called him? What if I could have heard about his problems and cheered him up?

The shock is the main thing. I was just shaking when I heard yesterday. I never ever would have predicted that, he was always such a popular and cheerful guy at school. Clearly life had really got on top of him lately though.

I want to contact his parents (though they moved away recently and I don't have their address), but I really don't know what to say. Any guilt I feel must be magnified a thousand times for them, on top of the anguish at losing their son. It's just a horrible situation, I think losing someone to suicide is the very worst kind of loss. I really feel for them.

Generally I'm handling my own feelings fine though, as a group of friends we're all feeling the loss and all helping each other through it. I just felt like I should pay this small tribute to him in an anonymous place.